I am a scholar mom, who keeps on making hypothesis, conducts experiments, and arrives at a conclusion and then blogs the theory. My home is my laboratory and my family is the apparatus, instruments and subjects of my experiments. Recently, two months back, I introduced a new concept to my kid. Concept of fear as a guy hiding under her armpits. Whenever she is afraid, all she has to do is a simple body stance. Spread her arms sideways and shudder. The fear is released and the fear guy is lying there on the ground. I conducted this experiment for past two months and here is the result. It works!
I have a 5 year young daughter, who observes very closely and introspects even more closely. Whenever, she is having fear of any kind for e.g., her peers will laugh on her incorrect words or they will make fun of her free dancing style or fear of vaccinations and so on, she becomes closed, smaller in size. She curls sometimes with head down position, arms tightly crossed, legs fidgeting and eyes staring some distant object or nearest floor.
My first treatment to this issue was explaining her that she should not be afraid of public reactions and that she is a strong girl and there is nothing to fear about etc. But none of this helped her. I generally personify every object around her. Like the comb is monitor and her hairs are naughty students. And while combing, I tell her what conversation is going on between her hairs and comb. I extended this idea of personifying things to emotions as well. Like happy guy is sitting on the lips and fear guy is hiding under armpits. She is receptive to this personification.
Once, she was afraid of a going little deeper into swimming pool. I experimented the body stance there for the first time. I told her that she needs to drain the fear guy. It is not Chia, but fear guy who is afraid. I told her to stretch her hands out and say I am a strong girl. First she did with little hesitation and I asked her to repeat until she said it with full confidence ‘I am a strong girl’ with hands gloriously stretched out. She felt better and went deeper into swimming pool. It worked.
Second time, I tried the same thing in clinic. And she didn’t cry and was so happy that she is now a strong girl, who doesn’t cry and doesn’t fear vaccination. To my surprise, she didn’t turn her face when injection was about to enter her skin. She watched Doctor doing the vaccination with her brave, proud smile. It worked again. It has worked many times till today.
We know that mind changes body, but less we notice that body changes mind as well. Humans are a beautifully designed system. If you pretend to be sad with a long face and slow walking pace, after sometime you will actually start feeling low. If you smile in pain, the pain really hurts less. Our body posture (body language) not just communicate our truth to the world, but it also communicates the same to our own brains. Accordingly hormones are secreted to be in harmony with body language. When we feel happy we are bubbly and open. We seldom cross our legs or hands in happy moods. We do it in defensive mode.
Try to fake that you are confident and happy when you are not. It works for me and my family. It will work for you as well. Fake it till you internalize it. Walk with happy faces, straight backs and energy. You will feel the difference.
See you again. 🙂
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