I am a small potato and I have every possibility of growing into a decent, big Yukon Gold potato. But I am growing and expanding like a ginger –disproportionate? Is holistic growth that difficult to attain? I work with focus on goals- means my efforts and consciousness work as spotlight on the goal and leaving every other area pitch dark. When I achieve a goal, I turn that spotlight into tube light lightning every nook and corner of the room. And interestingly, I expect everyone to be there, doing fine and by my side. It has happened so far. But it occurs to me that in the journey of achieving my goal, I never anticipated that all other persons and situations are dynamic. What if by the time, I would reach my goal, my people may not be there and situations would be completely different. I aimed the goal when I had everything going fine in my life and I wanted more. When I would attain this more –my goal- what if rest everything had suffered badly. This ‘more’ is not more and it no more seems like success or pleasure. I have passion for it and I would achieve it, but the price I would paid is so huge. In my pursuit, I would not be able to spare a little attention to rest everything. And anyway, it is all running fine now, why would I expect it to deteriorate! But then keep moving is different than being still. If every other thing is moving then one, who is being still is actually left behind. I am expecting everything to be still while I attain my goal. And on the reaching the finish line, I notice everything I cherished is left behind. I worked hard for my goal and enjoyed the journey. I learned so many new things on the way and I am a changed person now. This was supposed to be a good thing, something extra to whatever I had, but is it really? I expanded some of my dimensions and rest other dimensions left unattended on the way. I was supposed to be a graceful Yukon Gold potato, but I have turned into a disproportionate ginger.
Why this happens? To achieve a goal you need focus. Why focus comes with a price? And if price is bigger than perks of focus, would I like to focus on anything? My decision is NO, but it doesn’t make me peaceful, rather, it makes me restless. One part of me wants to achieve it and other part is denying it. It is inner conflict soaring on top of its capabilities. However, I know that if I don’t water a thought it gets killed. This is what has happened to most of us with respect to our hobbies. Ask any adult ‘what are your hobbies’ and a long thoughtful silence will be the answer, mostly. Long back, they had faced the inner conflict between hobby and responsibility. Carrying the conflict for long is mind boggling, irritating and uncomfortable. They chose responsibility and conflict was over. They were angry initially, because they had to abandon their hobbies. Then the anger turned into sadness of loss. To get rid of acute pain they stopped watering their hobbies and hobbies died. Hobbies died but the emptiness and chronic pain they left within is something unforgettable and it reflects in many ways in different walks of people’s life. What is going wrong here? Why are we defeated, hopeless and helpless? Is this world a paradox? With every joy, sorrow is there and with every achievement, loss is inevitable? If this is true then is there any possibility that a human may achieve holistic growth, peace and satisfaction?
I look at Sonia Gandhi, congress party president. She is such a great leader, she revitalized dying congress. She made someone PM of the country and had full control of his mute button. She ruled the country from back stage. She led and she is a leader. She could manage such a big party, be their support and make them rise above their hardships. What price she paid? Rahul Gandhi? How she could not lead Rahul and make him rise above his hardships? A mother in Sonia must not be pleased with status quo of Rahul. Her personality dimension emerged out so beautifully and her motherly dimension? In my views, she is also a ginger.
I look at Steve Jobs, great innovator. He was such a great person with vision and innovation. He created Apple and later on he revived Apple. What price he paid? His relationships? The strange refusal to accept his daughter and passing derogatory remarks on his wife and that too in a magazine. The innovator in him did exceptionally well but his relationship dimension suffered hugely. I see him as a ginger too.
I see many gingers around. Doing well in some field and terrible in other walks of their lives. Is this a normalcy? If yes then why anyone would be hungry for holistic growth? Why would anyone envision something like holistic growth? Why nature has given us a mind that craves for perfection? Why this desire is there in every human around? Why we want more?
I read it somewhere ‘The very fact that you have a dream or desire means that you have the corresponding capacity to realize it.’ I am going to stick to this note. I believe that I have every possibility and capacity to fulfill my desire. It is obviously not an easy task. It takes lots of time management, innovation and hit & trials. I am ready to exercise all of these and almost anything and everything to realize my dream. I would not be discouraged by looking at examples. They say if the dream is from God then you can be assured that the devil will fight fearless battle to deny you access to it. So fight for your dreams and choose your battles with convictions. I will keep an eye that I would not expand like a ginger. I will be a decent, big Yukon Gold potato.
See you again. 🙂