It is heart wrenching to see your loved ones in bad health either physical or emotional or mental. I tend to hug and pay more loving attention to my kid, my hubby, my siblings and my parents when they are ill. So I expect each one of them to love me more and take great care of me when I am ill. But I am disappointed.
Throughout my childhood, I have seen my father being indifferent to my mother’s or his kids’ illness. By indifferent I mean that: he never showed extra love or attention, but he arranged for her medicines and doctor visits. Though I had seen him, as a son, extremely sensitive to my grandmother’s illness. He would pour his heart and give all the attention to her. I obviously did not like this biasing. But I thought maybe he is too much sensitive to stand our illness and feels shy to show more love and attention.
I married to an extremely pleasant, expressive person and love of my life. He is extraordinary in every sense. I was so mesmerized by his aura and I literally got a shock when he seemed to be indifferent to my illness. He behaved pretty much like my father. He took me to the doctor, he arranged a cook for me and kept on checking if I was taking medicines on time and taking proper rest. Yet, I called this behavior indifferent! May be I am insane or heartless to say this. But I had reasons to say this. He did not hug me more, kiss me more, cuddle me more and share more laughter with me. I guess, these are the incentive when one falls sick. I was kept deprived of this and this was indeed driving me crazy.
I was more loved, pampered and appreciated when I was healthy. He shared his happiness, jokes and thoughts with great enthusiasm when I was healthy. And now his behavior was making my illness even worse. I was getting desperate for ‘extra’ when usual daily supply was depleting gradually. Then I felt the pain that my mother had felt so many times.
I then thought why males in my family behave this way? When ladies are healthy they are treated well, and when they are ill no extra attention! Why?
It occurred to me that males in my family have shifted the incentives. Instead of getting incentive for sickness they have made incentive available for health. They are quite intellectuals. They love me so much that they don’t want me to enjoy sickness for any incentive. Rather, they make me feel that being ill is the worst thing happening to me. I had to get rid of this worst thing ASAP and resume my good health. Which is good for everyone including me.
I am happy that I have more incentives to be healthy. I happily eat healthy food, avoid junk food, sugary drinks and exercise daily. It earns me lots of love, kisses and appreciation. I feel on the top of the world to be healthy.
See you again. 🙂