There are two beautiful families living in neighborhood. Both the families have two kids of same age group and going to same school. Both the families have working mother and father that too in the same profession of teaching. Two families, four teachers and four kids. Enough of coincidence and obviously resulting into more collaborative possibilities. I was mesmerised by this finding. Chia and younger kids of both the families (Arnav and Khushi) are in same class. Chia likes to stay in school after school hours and so Arnav and Khushi want to. Today Arnav’s mamma, Jyoti, is here to pick up both the kids. Jyoti being a teacher finds it difficult to let the kids play on their own and she enters into playground to supervise while I am into reading a book.
Despite of her supervision Arnav and Khushi engaged into some verbal fight – very natural for kids. They disagree with each other and try to win each other by their cute innocent logics. 🙂 They solve their issues in their own way and we parents want to teach them how to resolve the conflict and come out with good logics and not just cute innocent ones. Jyoti being a teacher could not take her boy’s side as he was wrong at that time and she gave him some advice – very generic – one should not behave like this instead of saying you should not behave like this. Both the sentences have their different impression. We as adults prefer to be addressed as you and not as someone. It goes pretty well for kids too. So, Arnav got really pissed off and started yelling at Khushi and his mother. Khushi did not give this much of the attention but for Jyoti it was just too much. She felt embarrassed and she looked at this like she is a mother of a bad boy and also that her supervision and teaching both failed. This obviously hurt her ego and she announced in an angry tone “We are leaving right now.”
Both the kids wanted to play but now only Arnav is in position to insist for extension. He is a 5 year young boy. He has enough awareness of to what his mother reacts how? He has his own strategies. Now here is a time to deploy one. 🙂 He started crying and complaining that Jyoti never listens to him, she doesn’t let him play, she is always in hurry and she does not love him. 🙂 Smart kid..knows very well how to make a mother unveil from a teacher’s mask. I can say this because Jyoti extended their time to another 10 minutes. Sweet kids while playing again got into disagreement on something. Arnav was once again shouting and Khushi was playing indifferently. After a short while Arnav approached his mother and said “Mamma we will not take Khushi with us today. Let’s go from here and let her play.” Quite a childish thing from a child. 🙂 The answer Jyoti gave was such a cruel one that I could not help to close my book and gave her a quick glance and again looked back into my book. Jyoti said “If we won’t take Khushi with us then her mother will not bring your sister home. Think about it that your sister will be left alone in the school and will cry alone. Do you want this? I don’t want this so I will take Khushi home with you.” 😦
Our teaching -our legacy
Oh! What an answer to a kid? What are we trying to teach here? Where is our empathy, sympathy, love and humanity when give such reasons to our kid? Jyoti not even once mentioned about Khushi, the girl sitting next to Arnav, in apprehension if she would be left alone here! It did not occurred to Jyoti that Khushi will be left alone and crying here. Or she did not find it worth mentioning? She did not find it important to make this situation clear to Arnav? The level of indifference she showed for Khushi was strange! We can not extend our empathy to the one who is travelling daily with us and we expect it on national and international levels. And we are passing this to next generations!! What Khushi felt at that moment….If there will be a case that her mother(Neha) will pick up Arnav’s sister no matter what then Jyoti will leave her here to cry until Neha comes for her. She felt that she has no connection with Jyoti or Arnav. They don’t care about her. Would Khushi forget this learning? What Arnav learned….Be selfish and take any actions when the consequences are not against you and your family. There is nothing called free care or empathy. Would Arnav forget this learning? These are small incidences and interactions that are making their marks on our kid’s receptive minds and soft hearts. Kids not only learn from the direct teachings but also from environment and indirect teachings of our responses.
On international fronts we are worried about Seabirds dying because of consuming plastics. We are worried about ocean ecology disbalance because of oil spill and lot many similar issues. On national level we are worried about female’s safety and security. We are concerned about the salary and bullet proof jackets for soldiers. We all advocate that we must be more responsible, more sensitive for others, must extend our love beyond our family. And at ground level we practice such things and such logics with our kids. Does it not showcase our double standards and tell that we are just doing propaganda? Are we not in delusion that kids don’t understand it? We have no intention of thinking or rising above ourselves. We just don’t care. And world will never be a better place to live in. 😦
See you again.