confusion or clarity

What is it that I want from life – thought Swarna. She was a very confident and less social creature sometime ago. She had few friends as she was unable to respect, trust and love incompetence, dishonesty, stupidity, nonsense and manipulative approaches. She found the world had enough of such vices and idiots. Whenever, she met such people or incidents, and she met them very often, she felt strong resentment.  She thought may be she is too strict and harsh for the vices and idiots around her and It was hurting her as well whenever she felt disrespect and resentment for them. But she never happened to think about the persons on the other end of her dealing.

It is only when one of her acquaintances approached her and told “You are an insensitive human being. Damn your honesty and strength as you will never know that true humanity and strength consists of being willing to lie, cheat or fake in order to make other person happy -to create for her the reality she expects, if she doesn’t like the one that exists. Because you never know what are the circumstances with the other person, her miseries and what all she is facing in her life? You damn us for our weakness but you will never know how strong we are that we are able to survive so well with the conditions around us and love each other. We know much more than you and we are better humans than you. You think so high and good of yourself!! What are you in the whole cosmos – a tiny, insignificant piece.”

Wao!!!! she had never been to this realm. She wondered if entering into such realm will swipe her resentment away and will make a happy world around her! Is she really insensitive? Are all those people whom she had discarded to consider as respective and deserving people are innocent victims of situations or fate?

She had the capability and courage to explore and win any kingdom. So, with the intention of making her life free of resentment and filling others with happiness, she entered into this new world. She read literature of this realm which was based upon sacrifices of oneself for the cause of whole i.e., keeping others before yourself. The Experts of the field propagated that mind is a nuisance and money is root of all evils. They proposed heart should take precedence over mind as your heart always knows what is right before your mind does. One must be loving and caring for everyone as they all are equal and children of one God. One must overlook the shortcomings of others and must love and respect unconditionally. They said affection is better than perfection.

Swarna always wanted a beautiful world around her and she tried many approaches in order to get it. Though in beginning of every approach she was ready to the fact the approach should be tried,to be tested, to be worked on for long duration and then may be to be discarded as non-feasible. Swarna was a mathematics student and she knew the various ways to prove and discard a hypothesis or an axiom. She started her course in this realm in her mathematical way- let’s say hypothesis holds true and while working till the end if contradiction appear then conclude that hypothesis was wrong. She started with accepting every expression of the realm because if it holds true it will guide her to a blissful world. She worked according to the principles of realm, which were not compatible of hers mostly, but soon she was a figure to be considered as one of the brilliant hallmark of the realm. All those people whom she had abandoned earlier were around her along with new people. Everyone showed his/her confidence and respect in Swarna and acknowledged that she is no longer the person; she used to be before. As she knew that familiarity breeds contempt. So it was a great confusing combination of respect and disrespect, love and lash, greatness and mediocrity. This was the last step in proving a hypothesis- it was clear cut contradiction. Hence, hypothesis is wrong and this whole realm is idiotic.

Swarna noticed herself surrounded all around by those human dwarfs who compromise integrity and the whole value system for their convenience. They are all incompetent and envy the brain and talent. They claim on brilliance not on their skills but on the fact that they need it for their betterment and capable person must dispense it for them. They all cheat each other to make each other happy and yet they are unhappy. They are guilty of not being able to think when they need it the most and curse to all those who are able to think. This is not a beautiful world she aspired for. She wanted a way to be more happy but this way led her to be more unhappy; to tell her that she had abandoned her greatness for this outcome. “I surely don’t belong here.” She thought. Let these people do whatever they want to and let them think (about her) whatever pleases them. She will retrace her way back to being friends with limited person and do her best and be the best.

Though this journey didn’t go without learning. 🙂 She learned that no matter where your are you will find a way to suffer – but make sure that you don’t fail yourself, let others do that. Choose your sufferings wisely and prove yourself worthy of them. It’s not correct to extend your optimism of improvement to another person. Best optimism is that you would make your way through the crowd and will live up to your values honestly and would not compromise “the best” for “Good”.  And for the resentment- she must try something new.

A new journey for an old quest – a beautiful and blissful world.

See you again.

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