Please do not kill

I was leaving Mumbai. I was sitting in the train that was taking me away from Mumbai. My eyes were closed and my mind immersed in sweet memories of last two days spent with my boyfriend, Uphaar. He was living in another city. We were in long distance love relationship, hence, love could be gestured only in mails and phone calls. Long back he promised me that he will visit me in Mumbai, once for sure. I was waiting for him since then. Finally, two days before my departure from Mumbai he came there on a official assignment and we met. How good those two days were! Both of us met daily after our office hours and went to Marine Drive, a seaside. He had never been to a beach so he got excited as well as little scared with high waves and loud sound of waters. It was a full moon night. He was scared to sit on the edge but I insisted so he sat there. As soon as he sat, a big tidal wave came and touched his shoes. He jumped from there and both of us laughed. I said ” See these waters were also waiting for you. They wanted to touch you, feel you.” and at that moment I really believed that. Then we had dinner together and he dropped me to my place and said “See you tomorrow.”

Oh! how lovely that evening was. For the first time I walked with him, felt his soft caring touch, and had dinner with him. I kept saying “Thank you God, Thank you. I can’t ask for anything else now.”

Next evening we met again and I offered him my SIM card. I said “I am leaving tomorrow morning, this SIM is of no use for me and you are here for two more days you can have this.” We exchanged our SIM cards, so that I will also have a number to reach, in case there is a need to talk while I am travelling. We then said bye to each other and promised next meeting very soon.

I left Mumbai, next morning. 4 hours later, my mobile had an incoming call from an unknown number. I was not expecting any calls but seeing the number I knew it’s a call from Mumbai. My heart filled with joy and I picked up the call.

The voice from the other end said “Are you a friend of Uphaar ? Is he with you?”

I said “Yes and he is not with me. What’s the matter?” My heart started coming to my throat and I turned all ears.

Voice said “We are calling from his office. He was suppose to be here 3 hrs before and he is not traceable.”

I said “I met him last evening and he was all well” I wanted to tell him more but my voice chocked.

Voice said “Thank you” and with great difficulty I could say “Please inform me  whenever you hear from him.”

Call disconnected. My tears started rolling out and I was in train travelling away from Mumbai. Mobile signal was lost from my mobile, time to time. I didn’t know what to do? Never felt this helpless. I had only one option..pray. I closed my eyes and started praying and I prayed hard, trying to make a deal with God. Please take these many valuable, loving things from my life and in return I just ask for Uphaar, my boyfriend.

I was so scared that I could imagine all bad things and my sweet memories of last two days also took a different meaning. I was trembling and crying. My body was chilling and my mind was being fried. It had been 2 hours and I was still talking to God. Firstly I prayed and then tried to negotiate with God and then submitted myself to cruelty of God. I thought of so many possibilities that Uphaar is gone. I killed him in many ways in my imagination. These were the longest 2 hours of my life. And I find it very difficult to believe that it was just 2 hours, but phone call history doesn’t lie. How paradoxical is our time experience!

After 2 hours from the first call my mobile rang again. I hurriedly picked it up. the voice from the other end made me cry even more and it said “I am Okay. Your mobile was out of coverage. I reached office 1 hour before…….” I checked the network was gone again. I took a deep breath and wiped my tears. It was him,Uphaar, trying to reach me for past 1 hour. I thanked God that he answered my prayers and he spared me from any cruelty and didn’t take anything else in return.

After all my emotional phase calmed down, I was thoughtful about what have I done in past 2 hours? None but I was killing him, in my imagination. He is most precious to me and I love him the most in this world and I am the one who was vanquishing him. What a crime!!! I thanked God that our fears and apprehensions doesn’t manifest themselves immediately. We are given a chance to correct ourselves and a chance to keep ourselves sane.

I learnt on that day, that never think bad in difficult situations, no matter how helpless or miserable you are. That will only make you suffer the worst things that are purely imaginary and may never happen in reality.And in all the times have faith in God and pray for long lives of your loved ones and imagine good things for you. For, if they manifest, you will be happy that you created those joyful imaginations in your mind.

See you again.


One Comment Add yours

  1. sammy2711 says:

    So true…..however difficult the situation might be, we should try to keep a positive frame of mind!


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