Changing times

My choice, “Meri marzee”, are the most frequent words she is using these days. If I say “let’s play” then her response is ….”NO, let’s do coloring” If I say “Let’s have roti today” then her response is …. “NO, let’s have poori” when I ask “why don’t you want to agree with me?” then her response is ….”Meri marzee” 🙂

How fast it happened!!! In 4 years I somewhat mastered the art of parenting a baby, I guess. 🙂 I enjoyed our immense bonding for 4 years, where she would confide in me. I was the most wanted person, best friend and love of her life. She wouldn’t go anywhere without me. She would be easily convinced by me.

I had been a supportive and liberal mother. As far as I remember, I didn’t impose anything on her and that includes her playschool as well. When she was 2.4 years, I got her registered in a playschool. She didn’t like it. So, after discussing it with my husband, I stopped sending her to playschool after 10 days. She stayed at home happily. Then after 5 months she said she wants to go to a playschool, a new one. I took her to a different playschool and she liked it and continued. 🙂

She is so pure in her reaction and responses that I never had to brainstorm that if she is angry than it may be because she doesn’t want to show her sadness or if she is crying then might be she is helplessly angry. NO. It is always her true emotions being displayed and I learned to interact with these true emotional situations and behaviors.

It was all easy though conscious effort until she turned 5. Now, she is becoming aware of her individuality. With every moment, I can feel her urge to behave like a grown up and to be treated like one. She is becoming more independent and in control of her behavior. She is building her vocabulary and her understanding is growing even more faster to be expressed in correct words by her. She feels that verbal communication is not completely serving the purpose. That explains her “Meri marzee” thing because she won’t be able to communicate what all she understands about things and people. With proper formal schooling system, she is being exposed to whole new set of situations,  rules, new different behaviors and emotional states. She is using  a broader repertoire of strategies, including negotiation and compromise, to resolve conflicts within family and in her friend circle. So many changes causing resentment and anxiety in her and thus resulting a behavioral change in her.

She is loving to challenge every decision that is made for her and not by herself. This challenging is giving her utmost satisfaction of behaving like a grownup. She is trying to say,”Let me be responsible for my life. Let me be the one to decide what is good or not good. Dear parents, you are not guided by anyone then why should I be? I am no more a kid now. ” 🙂 Sometimes, I give her enough space to exercise her experiments and sometimes I don’t know how to deal with new behavior? When I don’t know how to deal with situation, I choose either to withdraw or to get angry, shout and force my decision on her. Which later I regret. I am struggling to find ways to deal with my independent kid. The ways, which would save our mutual trust and all the past conscious efforts I have made to raise her. The ways, which would enhance her self image, self confidence and self respect.

I know, like all other phases this phase will pass too with time. But I also know that my dealing will make a lot of difference in the way she comes out of this phase and the person she becomes after passing this phase. I wish I could device some strategies well on time to deal with my growing kid. This is really challenging for me. And I am trying to love this challenge. 🙂 I wish to convey my baby that “Yes, you are growing up. I respect you choice and you. I am trying to keep up. I am making few mistakes and you are making me to realize my mistakes and helping me to correct them. I love you and want to help you. Let’s grow together.” 🙂

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One Comment Add yours

  1. hemasha says:

    These changes in outer self are mostly due to inner self. These changes happened to nearly everyone of us and will keep happening to future generations as part of individual growth. Like a lighthouse, this article warns parents to understand their kids individuality and behave accordingly. Today’s parents must do so because like today’s kids, they demanded respect from their parents. Now its their chance to make things right with nature. With future adults. There are many books available which address need of parent – child relationship / interaction model. And be aware that today’s act are base of tomorrow’s reaction.

    Like

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